Help Me Say Goodbye
by GrandMoffAmbrius
Summary: A night of casual reading brings forth terriable nightmares and feelings for two members of the Sanders-Stokes family.


Disclaimer: I do not own CSI. If I did, then things would be a whole lot different.

A/N: All my thanks goes out to my great Beta Seshat3. Another one of my all famous one-shots for your enjoyment. _National Geographic Field Guide to the Birds of North America_ is a real book written by National Geographic. The title of this is from the lyrics in the song _Wishing You Were Somehow Here Again _from Sir Andrew Lloyd Webber's _The Phantom of the Opera_. If this one doesn't pull at your heart strings then nothing will.

Help Me Say Goodbye

The door to the master bedroom opened, only slightly at first but far enough to allow the light from inside to spill out into the darkened hall way. It did not go un-noticed by the sole occupant of the large bed. Upon hearing the door knob being turned ever so softly, Nick Stokes looked-up from his copy of _National Geographic Field Guide to the Birds of North America _to see a pair of all too familiar soft brown eyes peering through the creak.

"Oliver?"

The door pushed all of the way open and in toddled a forlorn looking Oliver in his SpongeBob Square Pants pjs, clenching tightly to his blankie and teddy bear. He made his way over to his Daddy's bedside and stopped.

Removing his glasses and setting them down along with the book on the nightstand Nick pushed the covers back and swung his legs over the edge. Glancing over to the clock on the nightstand, Nick saw that it read a quarter to midnight. From what he had observed so far of his son's actions and the lateness of the hour, Nick felt he had a pretty god idea of why Oliver was up at the moment.

"What's the matter little guy? Can't sleep?"

Oliver did not answer nor did he look-up. Rather, he continued to look down at the floor. The lack of communication was a cause for comcern on Nick's part. Then the hazel eyed CSI noticed that Oliver was wearing a different pair of pajama pants. His shirt was SpongeBob but his pants were Batman. Getting-up from the bed, Nick knelt down on the floor. He brought his son into his warm embrace and started to rub his back.

"I hada accident," Oliver murmured softly into Nick's chest.

His acknowledgement gave the CSI a small sense of relief but not fully. Now he had to find out what had happened to make his son wet his bed. Whatever the problem was, it had to be something serious. Oliver had not had an accident for several months now. And he had never gone this long without saying if he was feeling bad or upset about something.

"I see," Nick replied soothingly. "How come? Do you feel sick?" he asked as he placed his hand against his son's forehead. Not feeling a temperature, he withdrew his hand. Oliver buried his face in the nook of his neck and nuzzled as close as he could get to his Daddy. "Do you have a tummy ache? Do you feel like you're going to throw-up?"

"No, bad dream," Oliver answered softly as he shook his head before he reburied his face in Nick's neck. Frowning slightly at the response, Nick went back to rubbing the child's back soothingly, hoping he would tell him what was troubling him.

"Okay, a bad dream. Is that all it was?" he asked a few moments later, "You've been doing really good lately at not having accidents lately. Are you sure there's not something else wrong? You can tell me what it is. No matter what it is."

Oliver withdrew his face and looked-up at his Daddy with his large innocent brown eyes.

"Really?"

"Anything,"

"Why did Pappa have ta go away Daddy?"

Nick had been expecting this question for sometime now but the impact still hit him hard.

"Pappa promised he wouldn't ever leave but he did. He gone and he never ever coming back is he?" Oliver said as his eyes started to fill-up with tears.

Nick smiled tenderly at the tear y eyed boy. He reached-up to wipe away some of the tears that had started to fall, streaking down his cheeks. Wrapping his arms around his son, the CSI lifted him onto the bed. "Wait right here for a second," Nick said with a kiss to Oliver's forehead, "I'll be right back."

Oliver nodded and Nick left the room and crossed over to Oliver's room. The soft glow of Oliver's nightlight revealed the wet SpongeBob pajama bottoms and wet patch on the bed sheet and covers on the floor. Nick stripped the bed and gathered-up all the sheets, the pants and the nightlight then carried everything into to the laundry room. After depositing the wet materials into an empty basket to be dealt with in the morning, Nick headed back to his room with the nightlight.

Oliver was sitting in the same spot Nick had left him in when he came back, clinging to his bear and blankie. He looked-up with remorseful eyes as Nick gave him a soft smile and he plugged the Batman nightlight into the wall socket. Once it started to emit it's soft glow, Nick went back over to the bed and reached down for his son. Oliver automatically wrapped his arms around his Daddy's neck and buried his face in his shoulder as Nick crawled back into bed.

"I miss Pappa," Oliver choked out through his soft sobbing.

"I know Bubby, I know," Nick said comfortably as he rubbed Oliver's back in a circular motion.

"Pappa promised me he never would leave me. He doubled-triple-secret-pinky-promised me. Now he's gone and he's never gonna come back."

Oliver tightened his hold on Nick's arms and continued to cry his eyes out. Nick had stopped rubbing Oliver's back and circled his arms around his quivering son. Nick himself felt that he could break down at any second. Hearing the broken hearted confession of his son clenched at his heart. He had known that Oliver was torn-up over the situation but he had no idea it was this bad. But he knew how Oliver felt. Every night since his son felt his world shatter, he lain awake in the half filled bed unable to fall asleep all; due the emptiness caused by the departure of the man he loved. The man he had chosen to spend the rest of his life with and raise a family with. But now; that bed felt cold and empty to him. It no longer offered feelings of warmth, security and love. No. That was due to Greg and only Greg. But he could not think about his own personal torture now. Now, he had to take care of his child.

"It's going to be alright Oliver," Nick said, "Everything will be fine."

"No won't be," Oliver interjected, "It's like what happened to Brian."

"What do you mean?" Nick asked his son regarding his friend.

"Brian's Grandpa said he wouldn't ever go too like Pappa did. But he hadda go to the hospicicle like Pappa. I'm never ever gonna see him again."

Oliver replaced his face into his father's neck and continued to sob. Nick was near tears himself. Hearing his son's heartbroken confession was causing the strong front he had composed to start to crumble. As hard as he tried, the CSI found he was fighting a losing battle with himself. Finally, Nick broke down and buried his face in his son's soft hair and started to cry himself.

"Daddy," Oliver spoke-up when he heard the sobbing, "You crying?" he asked in a puzzled tone. When he looked-up he saw that fresh tears were now falling from his Daddy's eyes. Oliver was completely surprised at this. He had never seen his Daddy cry. Even when the day finally came to say goodbye to Pappa Greg, Daddy Nick had not shed a single tear. But now, he saw tears falling from his Daddy's eyes down his cheeks.

"I miss your Pappa Greg too. He made the very same doubled-triple-secret-pinky-promised with me a long time ago and he promised me that he would never break it either. I miss him everyday like you do. But I know Pappa Greg wouldn't want you or me to be upset with him not being here with us anymore."

"Really?"

"Really. He would want us to remember how much we love each other and remember all the good times we've had together. That's Pappa all together."

Oliver bit his lip at Nick's statement. He looked at Nick with round sorrow filled eyes. Nick had to make the child understand the truth about the situation. Taking in a large breath to calm himself, he regained his composure and took hold of Oliver by his shoulders.

"Oliver, look at me," Nick instructed and when the pair of teary brown eyes settled on him he continued, "You're always going to have your Pappa Greg's love and have a special place in his heart. The _very _last thing he would have ever wanted to do to you is hurt you. He hated seeing you cry and being hurt. But there are some things we just can't control or stop. And him leaving was one of those things no could stop. I know for a fact that if he could, he would have found some way of staying here. I want you to trust me on this, no matter where you are and wherever he might be, your Pappa is always going to be with you and he loves you no matter what."

By the time he had finished, both Nick and Oliver had fresh tears in their eyes.

"It'll be ok Oliver. We'll get through this just fine. Don't forget, you have Uncle Warrick, Aunt Catherine, Uncle Grissom and Aunt Sara to be here for you too. It'll get better, I promise you."

Another sniffle escaped from Oliver who then proceeded to wrap his arms back around Nick's neck and buried his tear streaked face in Nick's chest and allowed his tears to fall freely. Nick encircled his arms around his son and brought him close to his chest. Lying back down, Nick held his son until he had cried himself to sleep. Gently, he wiped away the remaining tears from his checks, reached over and turned off the light.

The room filled with the soft glow of the nightlight against the darkness. Covering the sleeping form of his son with his blankie, Nick closed his eyes and allowed himself to drift into sleep; hoping that in the morning, things would look better for both his son and himself.

Oliver had not woken-up since crying himself to sleep in his Daddy's embrace. As he slept, he managed to maneuver himself out of that warm embrace and rolled onto the left side of the bed into the same spot where his Pappa would have been sleeping in. Nick had at some point rolled over on his side to the right side of the bed with his back to Oliver. It was about ten past three in the morning when Oliver felt what felt like fingers running through his hair causing him to stir. As his eyelids opened and slowly adjusted themselves to the dim glow of the nightlight, a voice spoke softly to him in an amused tone.

"Looks like there's someone sleeping in my spot."

Oliver's eyes widened in an instant. He knew that voice all too well and when his eyes finally focused on the face above him visible in the light from the nightlight, he could not contain his emotions

"Pappa!" he cried out with pure joy as he jumped-up in to the smiling and open-armed embrace of his Pappa and hitting his Daddy in the back with his feet as a result, waking him from his sleep.

"Oliver, what the…" Nick mumbled groggily as he fumbled around for the light on the nightstand. But then the light on the left side turned on and Nick turned and the sight that met his eyes caused them to widen in disbelief.

Standing at the edge of the bed and holding an over ecstatic and bouncing Oliver in his arms was a haggard looking Greg Sanders-Stokes. When the chocolate brown eyes saw the shocked expression on his partner's face, Greg's face broke out in a warm smile that stretched from ear to ear.

"Hi Nicky, I'm home."

"Greg?"

"Not exactly the welcome home response I was expecting but I suppose it'll do,"

"But…you…I…" Nick was still in such dismay that he could not form a coherent sentence to which Greg gently shook his head. Then he lightly tapped on their son's shoulders and the child drew his face away from it's place on the man's shoulder.

"You hear that Ollie? Daddy doesn't think it's me."

"Daddy," Oliver piped-up, "It's really Pappa."

But Nick still did not respond.

"Here, will this help?" Greg asked and he leaned in and placed a soft kiss on Nick's lips. Once they made contact with his, Nick felt a jolt of electricity go through his body and he instinctively reacted and kissed back. The familiar taste of Greg's lips filled his senses and he brought his arms-up around the younger man and brought him close to him on the bed.

"Daddy, Pappa! You squishing me!" Oliver interjected which caused the two men to break from each other.

"Sorry 'bout that," Nick said as he and Greg withdrew from each other.

"Yeah. Sorry, Ollie," Greg added as he set Oliver on the bed between him and Nick.

"It ok, Pappa," Oliver answered.

Greg gave him a smile and small kiss on his forehead before he looked-up at Nick with a grave expression and shook his head at the man, "I just can't believe you Nicky. Here I am, gone for just a week and here you are already having someone _else_ sleeping in our bed and in _my_ spot; someone else who's just as cute as me."

"_More_ cute actually," Nick replied with crossed arms and smirk.

"I suppose," Greg answered back with grin as he placed a wet raspberry on Oliver's neck. The little boy let out a loud happy squeal.

"Missed you Pappa," Oliver said as he rewrapped his arms around his Pappa's neck and rested his head on his shoulder.

"Missed you too, Monkey,"

"He wasn't the only one, G."

"I missed you too, Nicky."

"Nah-uh, Pappa," Oliver interjected causing Greg to look down at him, "Missed you more," Oliver said as he hugged Greg's neck.

Greg looked back over to his husband and asked with a cocked eyebrow, "Well Daddy? Did you miss me even more them our own son?"

"Guess I'm beat," Nick said with a shake of his head bring a smile out of both Greg and Oliver.

"Well, I don't know 'bout the two of you," Greg said as he set Oliver back on the bed, "but I'm beat. I think I'll go change into my jammies and go to bed. If you think there's enough room for me?" he asked looking at Oliver.

"Course Pappa," Oliver replied with a large grin.

"Alight then. I'll be back in a sec."

Greg walked over to the suitcase that was sitting by the door to the master bathroom and took out his black sleeper pants and shirts that Nick had given him for his last birthday which had red chili peppers and the phase _Red Hot_ on them. As he entered the bathroom and turned on the light he called out, "Hey Daddy, can you come in here for a sec?"

"Be back in a sec." Nick told Oliver with a tussle of his hair before getting-up and heading into the bathroom.

As soon as he was in the bathroom and had closed the door, Nick felt Greg's arms around his waist and was brought in close to Greg's bare chest.

"God I missed you," he sighed as he rubbed his body against the brawny built Texan which caused Nick to wrap his arms around Greg.

"I can see that," Nick said as he rested his chin on Greg's head. "How come you're home? I thought the convention wasn't over till Sunday?"

Greg let go and said as he removed his jeans with a smile, "It was but when they serve seafood that's spoiled and you end-up in the hospital with food poisoning, you're allowed to end your assignment to attend the conference early and come home to be with your family."

Nick did not reply. He just stared at Greg but it was not because of the explanation. It was seeing the man before him half naked. Nick felt the desire to take Greg right there growing every second. Greg must have seen the look in those hazel eyes because before Nick knew it, Greg had slipped on the pants and top. He gave the disappointed CSI an apologetic look and answered with, "I know what you're thinking and while I'm just as horny as you and want nothing more to lick every inch of your bare flesh," he said as he grabbed hold of Nick's A&M shirt, drew him close and licked his lips with his tongue, "we do have our young son just on the other side of the door and I don't think either of us would like to answer his questions of why he heard his Daddy and Pappa banging on the bathroom walls and how they were all sweaty."

"You got a point there, G," Nick said with a smirk, "I guess I can wait one more day."

"Me too," Greg replied as he lowered his arms and wrapped them back around Nick's waist. "By the way, I went into Oliver's room when I got back and I saw his bed. Has been having accidents since I've been gone?"

"No," Nick answered with a shake of his head, "tonight was the first. I asked him if he had a nightmare and he said yes but he didn't tell me anything other than that and that he missed you. All I can guess is that that factored into his nightmare. He even told me that he was afraid you were going to end-up like Brian's Grandpa."

Greg could not help but gently laugh at his son's concern. "Well seeing as he went into the hospital in great pain because he was suffering from a serve case of gout, I think we can rule that out."

"Well hopefully he'll get over that now that you're home."

"Hopefully," Greg said with a smile as he leaned in to place a kiss on his lips. "I'm so glad to be home."

"Me too," Nick said as their lips meet in deep showing of their love for one another.

As their lips gently moved against each other, the yearning that had been kept pent-up for almost two weeks was fueling their drive and soon the kissing to became more intense. Body moved against body. They allowed their hands to explore the familiar terrain of the other's body. Hands started to move frantically and found their way to the skin under each other's shirts. As Greg's fingers traveled across warm golden flesh, Nick's moved with ease over smooth skin then encountered longed healed but still visible scares. Nick did not mind the feel nor did Greg show any unease at the action. The rigid surface was just one of the aspects that made him who he was; it was something that was loved not hated. As they continued, both Nick and Greg knew that if they did not stop soon they would not be able to. Finally, before things could get out of hand, the need for air drew them apart. Hazel eyes looked deep into warm chocolate brown ones. Each showing the deep and true love the two men had for each other.

"Let's get to bed G."

"Let's."

Oliver was sitting eagerly on the bed when his parents walked back through from the bathroom. Nick made a direct line for the bed and got in while Greg did not. He stood by the bathroom entrance way for a moment and smiled as he walked over to his suitcase.

"I got something for you, Monkey," Greg said as he rummaged through his bag, "I was going to wait and give it to you in the morning but I think now will do."

"Ohh, what you get me? What you get me?" Oliver asked bouncing up and down with anticipation.

"Close your eyes," Greg instructed and put something behind his back and walked over to the bed. He sat down next to Oliver and exclaimed "Here you go."

As Oliver opened his eyes, Greg pulled out medium sized stuffed animal which looked like a blue cow. Both Oliver and Nick looked at the toy with puzzled expressions. "Who dat Pappa?"

Greg smiled. "This Ollie, is Babe the Blue Ox. He was the best friend of Paul Bunyan. Together, they formed all the ten thousand lakes in Minnesota. One day they got lost in a big snow storm and all their footprints filled-up with snow and became lakes in the Spring when all the snow in them melted."

"Really? Cool! Thank you, Pappa," Oliver said as he took the blue cow and hugged it. Then he looked to Nick then back to Greg and asked, "What bout Daddy? What he get?"

"I'll give Daddy his gift later," Greg told Oliver as he looked over to Nick and wiggled his eyebrows, "How about now the three of us get some shuteye?"

"Sounds good to me," Nick said as he reached over to the light and shut it off once again plunging the room into darkness save for the glow of Oliver's nightlight.

As they got comfortable, Greg wrapped Oliver's blankie around him as Nick pulled the confronter over them. Oliver got cozy in the middle, holding onto his bear and his new blue friend. Cuddling against his Pappa Greg's chest, his Daddy Nick snuggled-up behind him. Each father wrapped their arms around their son and placed a kiss to his soft hair.

"Goodnight Ollie," Greg said.

"Goodnight Buddy," Nick said.

"Night Pappa. Night Daddy," Oliver murmured as he closed his eyes and settled down under the covers. It only took a few minutes for him to drift off to sleep.

"I hope Grissom doesn't send either of us off to any more conferences any time soon," Greg whispered as he delicately ran his fingers through Oliver's hair, "It's one thing being away from you but being away from him and you both, it's just too much."

Reaching over, Nick placed his hand on Greg's. "I know, I know. It's hard and it's just as hard not having you in this bed. It gets cold without you."

"Hotel beds get just as cold without you." Greg answered back.

The nightlight's glow helped Greg see the smile that appeared on his partner's face. Intertwining his fingers with Nick's, Greg leaned over gently as to not disturbed Oliver and placed a soft but passionate kiss on Nick's lips. Nick eagerly returned the kiss and did not show any complaints when Greg withdrew.

"God Natt Nicky. Jeg elsker deg," Greg said.

"Buenas noches Greg. Te quuiero , " Nick replied.

Still holding onto each other's hand, the two CSI fathers floated off into sleep. Between them, the child that had brought so much joy into theirs, their families' and their friend's lives slept peacefully and with content. Like their son, Nick and Greg slept in utter security.

For the rest of the night none were plagued by bad dreams. Nick or Greg of the pain and sorrow of being separated by hundreds of miles, nor Oliver of having his family being only half complete and missing the sense of love and warmth he received from his two fathers. The two people who loved him and who would always be there for him when he would need them the most.

-Author's Note-

Please don't forget to leave your opinions and thoughts.

First off, I hoped you all had a Merry Christmas and are looking forward to a Happy New Year. I do hoped this belated Christmas present.

Now, if you _seriously_ thought I had killed off Greg, then I did my job well. But all of you true followers and readers would now that I would _never_ do such a thing. I tried my best to present Oliver and his fears of Greg being gone and never coming back in a simple child like manner making you think Greg had died. If you noticed, Nick never used the term dead in his thoughts. But I'm sure many of you figured out at some point that Greg had not died but just up and left his family. Which is something we all know neither he or Nick would ever do. And as you eventually learned, I had Greg attend a conference in Minnesota due to his present of Babe the Blue Ox.

The Norwegian and Spanish should be easy for you all to figure out. If not, they both tell each other goodnight and that they love the other.

I'm still hard at work on the next chapters of _California Hidden Secrets and Dark Fears _and I'll have those sent off to Seshat3 after the New Year when she returns from her holiday vacation.

As for _Enigma, _I'm hard at work on the 7th chapter. After seeing _Harry Potter and the Deathly Hollows Part 1_ twice, I've been on a serious writing kick. As a result, I've created several characters of my own design to introduce in to the story and decided to make some changes that were shown in the movie. I hope to have the next chapter finished in the coming weeks.

As always, I thank you for all your support.

Have A Happy New Year!


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